Hi WookieMouse
My DS 5 has a lot of similar issues in terms of relating to other kids and the handwriting. We were "advised" in pre-k that he needed to be more like the other kids, he needed to be doing what they were doing, he needed to learn to socialize. We did not realize at first was that what they were saying was that he needed to change who he was to relate to age-mates. I once asked him why he always has to play his stories and not the other kids, and he said because they don't have any good ideas - and from his point of view he is right. Yesterday, he told us about a superhero he named Forces of Atom - who has the powers of gravity, strong nuclear force, weak nuclear force and electromagnetism. He flies by repulsing himself off the em field of the earth (was going to post that in the brag thread, but here works :)) None of his age-mates in pre-k ever got anything he was doing. And it wasn't fair to ask him to fundamentally change himself, IMO. Now he is in a gifted K, I don't know enough yet about the other kids to know if there is anybody in his vicinity in terms of this stuff - but he feels so much better about this school and these people - that he volunteered he was thankful for it on thanksgiving!
The writing is the bane of our existence right now - but he is improving - its just slow. So in a school designed to move quickly, he is not moving quickly enough on this physical and mental process. We did some OT last year and the school OT recommended some things for the teacher to implement. What we have been beating DS over the head with is the fact that doing the writing is learning the writing, even if its boring or you think you won't get better. He does not understand that he "learned" about the forces from his books and the NOVA special. Its not work from his perspective - so we had to explain that he was working at it and that he needs to do that same kind of repetition with physical things - and we are working overtime to praise the minuscule improvements he is making to show him that he is getting better at it. What I have noticed is that when the writing assignment is interesting, he is more apt to do it and do it closer to correctly that when its the mind-numbing just write letters or answer questions. Another thing that seems to be working was telling him that his teacher only knows what he is capable of by what he shows, and if he shows bad work when he can do better, she wont know he can do better and will keep assigning it until he shows it. He seemed somewhat dumbfounded by this!!
So I think you can't separate the gifted stuff from friendships - its hard to be friends with someone you have absolutely no frame of reference with, but it can be helpful to work to find one - whether its because its family or because they are neighbors, some connection. But I have noticed also that DS really prefers older kids and adults until he met age mates capable of understanding his interests. And there he realized that a 5th grader might be less interested in pretending than his K mates. The writing and the school work is different to me - that is about responsibility. He doesn't have to like it, but it has to be done. So what do we need to do to make it happen - do it in small pieces, add something, what?
Just some thoughts from another corner
DeHe
