You may find the SENG wbsite helpful, below is a link to their media page.

http://www.sengifted.org/publications_audiolibrary.shtml

The last recording is:
Practical Strategies for Managing Intensity, Inflexibility, Perfectionism and Sensitivity
Speaker: Barbara Probst, MSW, LCSW.
It speaks of working on given issues that are of concern instead of searching for a single diagnosis.
Her book, "When the labels don't fit" is starting out good I have not really read that much of it yet.

I am also reading "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene and "Different Minds" by Diedre Loveky, I also find both of them helpful.

I'm not sure if the book "the nurtured heart approach transforming the difficult child workbook" has been suggested it is also helpful.