But for my DS, it is his social naivety (even complete social blindness at times) that impairs him. The other kids are light years ahead of him in that field. He can fit in superficially and especially in structured situations, but the difference is there when he is closely observed. For the most part, it does not affect him during the school day because that is so regimented. And he is lucky to have a best friend to do things with outside of school.
Could you elaborate, please? This does sound a bit like my son. What do you mean when you say that he's naive and they are light years ahead? He's 8, right? What does this look like?
The superficial fitting in... hmmm... I'm wondering if that's what's going on. What exactly does 'supeficial' fitting in look like? I feel as if I've always superficially fit in, too.
He laughs when the other kids laugh (good superficial appearance of fitting in.) But then when I listen closely, his comments are a beat or two too late...the other kids have moved on (with their lightening speed) to another related topic and he is still stuck on the first item they were chatting about. He may get no response, or a snide remark like, "Nathan already said that!" The other boys talk about sports teams, Pokemon, Percy Jackson, and pizza in one paragraphs...while DS8 will join in for Percy Jackson and then try to add in something cool-to-him about math. Like I said, it is nothing overtly obvious to a casual observer, but when seen closely, his interactions are just a bit off.
In the structured classroom, he follows the routine to a T. Other kids are laughing and forget to get out a pencil, DS would be horrified to forget such an integral part of the assignment. But, he fits in perfectly with what he is supposed to do according to the teacher.
In other areas he is completely blind, and not just a little off. I have seen kids obviously snub him...turn away when he says hi or move away when he walks over...yet he does not even notice. I brought up one incident like this with him about 5 minutes after it happened, and he literally did not see it. The other kid made a face and turned away, my DS went up to him repeating his greeting and the kid walked away. DS still thinks that kid likes him and it was SO OBVIOUS that he does not. DS is blind to "subtle" body language and facial expressions that are completely apparent to us and to neurotypical kids.
I have no desire for him to be voted Most Popular...that's not what I'm talking about with "fitting in." But I'm hoping he will learn how to make appropriate conversation and recognize more body language/facial expression as he gets older. Over the summer, I always think he has grown so much in social skills, then I see the kids in his class in the fall and they have outgrown him by so much more.
