Hello all -
I am new to this forum. I have a 13YO that has tested into GATE twice now, but has not attended for two reasons 1) the school felt he was not emotionally mature enough and 2) his grades started slipping greatly shortly after being identified so they disqualified him the 2nd time he was identified. Unfortunately, I accepted this, thinking that the schools really wanted what was best for my child. From K-5th grade my son was an 'A' student, but he socially did not fit in. Starting in 5th grade (he was identified in 4th), he started dumbing himself down in an attempt to fit in. Not until 7th grade did he get what he wanted. He fit in, but he barely passes his standard classes.
Now I have an 8th grader that may not make it into 9th grade simply due to lack of effort. He puts in limited effort in the classroom and virtually none at home (regardless of the constant goading on my part). He says it all 'bores him' so why bother. He now has what he really wants. He is wildly popular and that is good enough for him...until he was told yesterday that he may not be allowed to go to 9th grade.
The school is telling me that it might be best to let him stay behind, as he is the youngest person in his grade anyhow. However, I don't agree - I think it may do more damage than good. I have followed what the schools have suggested for years now and what I am left with is a bright child that is embarrassed to be so and runs in the opposite direction. If I agree to hold him back, he will loose connection with what little challenge he was receiving (let alone the social stigma) and will either retreat into a shell or act out in ways that are the nightmares of all parents. If I pursue his attending High School next year, he will most likely be put in remedial classes due to his poor performance over the last few years. These will bore him and we will have an uphill battle to fight just to get him to get his diploma.
I am reaching out to this forum to see if anyone has ideas as to how to work with the school to at least ensure that he get into 9th grade with standard classes along with AP Math and Science (his strong suits) so that there is some challenge available to him. Is there anything in the summer that I might be able to do like an extended course at the university - something to spark him - somewhere where his peers are not present. Are there programs for gifted children outside of school so that I can get him involved with - children that are truly his peers - where he is not ridiculed for being smart.
