Hi Mabay.
My son is currently in 5th and like GG, this is just the sort of thing I worry about! He has had a few teachers so far that have treated him with distain (same as your son). At the young age of 7-8 in third grade, he fully realized that some adults were spiteful and manipulative. He would relay the most recent snide comments that he received from his teacher to us on a daily basis.
I don�t know how things would be for him now if we didn�t help him decompress and in many cases validate his impressions of what was said/done. We require him to keep his opinions and complaints on a �professional� level (good training) and we do the same. Ex. Her exclusion of our son during a third grade party due to failure to meet the extremely high AR reading goal (that he set for himself) was both illogical and undeserved since although he missed his own GOAL, he far exceeded the average number of points earned by others.
You stated that you do not speak poorly about teachers in your son�s presence. I wonder whether if you validated his impressions (without getting nasty of course) it would help him understand that in many cases it�s not him, but the adult that has some issues or poor judgment, ect..
-I wish my parents had done this with me. I was labeled as an underachiever beginning in junior high. My sixth grade teacher was very verbally abusive and I was a primary target. I didn�t tell my parents what she said to me for fear they would side with her. She was fired two years after I left the school.
This may be only one facet in a very complex situation, but I thought it might help.
P.S. I'm situational an I or E, but very strongly NTP!
