I used to arrange playdates for 2 reasons - 1. for me to catch up with my friends, so DS would play with their children, and 2. for the friends he chooses. #1 has been tough - he dislikes/is indifferent to all my friends' kids, without exception. So these days, I keep it separate. He only has one friend. For this friend, my son is a charming, sporting guy who takes charge in a fair way ("sure you can play it twice. I'll play it twice too but you go ahead first.") so there are no problems whatsoever. It's part of our culture for the mum to show up in tow with the kid for a playdate, and no-one I know supervises how the kids play unless there are tears and screams.
The social problems we have now revolve around kids he goes to enrichment classes with. My son is really small physically, and perhaps because of his sensory issues, really hates being pushed around or even touched. I know that he can be annoying to other kids (he needs to ask a lot of questions, so he does stick out). Possibly too, other children sense this, so they try to push him around or physically carry him, usually after class (and we don't stay on for more than 5 mins - it's just to be social and polite to the other mums). He hates that! I get called in a lot (he screams for me) to mediate. Like you, onthegomom, I feel very uncomfortable about this. I really wish he can take care of himself but he can't. I'm hoping this issue goes away as gets older (and bigger). Some of the other mums are well aware and I'm so grateful when they rein their own kids in.
