I just broke off a standing weekly playdate with a family across the street because I couldn't take the hovering. We've been meeting to let our sons (5 & 6) play for a year and a half now, and that family STILL won't let the boys play in a room by themselves or go beyond earshot if we're outside. They intervene in the boys' play constantly, shutting down any form of "violent" play, which by their definition includes make-believe games like cops and robbers and pirates. They also try to organize the boys' play, giving them ideas and setting the rules for games. In my mind, the whole point of a playdate is for my son to play with someone BESIDES me, and to learn, without being told by an adult, how to socialize with kids his age.
I also resent having to "play" by the other family's rules (my favorite: don't run in the park, you might fall down!). I'll abide by their rules at their house and ask my son to do the same (after all, it's good for him to see that other families do things differently), but frankly, I feel like my rules should apply at my house. With this family, I was walking on eggshells in my own home, because I was constantly fearful my son would say or do something that was ok with me but not with the neighbors (like build a LEGO spaceship that shoots imaginary lasers, heaven forbid). The playdates had become so stressful and exhausting for me and so confusing for my son that I finally called things off. It's a shame, because when the boys were allowed 5 minutes without interruptions and corrections from adults, they played very well together.
Last edited by MsFriz; 06/25/10 12:59 PM.
