Hmmm... I wonder if most of your concern stems from your husband's reaction to DD? It isn't the first time you have mentioned him and his attitude about her. And please don't take this the wrong way or negatively, but perhaps your husband needs to seek some help. Help from whom? I'm not sure. Psychologist? One who works with families? Someone who could couch him on how to respond and help? Is your husband gifted?
I suspect that for you; you are stuck in the middle with the pressure of being the main care giver for both your DDs. And you aren't getting personal time. Does your husband take the reigns and give you any time away from it all? If not, you need to insist on it.
And to be honest ... IF your DD does have Asbergers or something on the spectrum it is most likely a mild case and from what I've read of your posts you are doing everything right now to work on social cues and interaction.
Also, what about your family? Is your mom able to give you some comparison between you and your DD from when you were her age? I suspect your DD is not that different from you.
