In both cases, we treated it as a "time out from the opportunity to do what you're doing until you can control yourself." When self-control returned, the time out ended. Period. None of that "1 minute per year of age" stuff. To me, that's about punishment, and that's not positive discipline. I focused on the time out strictly as a tool for getting past the overwhelming emotions, which is why they were acting out. I wanted to reward self-control, since to me, that's the ultimate goal of a time out.
I guess we use it differently. I don't think time out used one minute per age can be very positive discipline if used effectively. I don't (or at least haven't to my knowledge) used time out for tantrums or behavior outbursts. well, at least not specific time outs. Now that DS4 is older I may send him up to his room until he is ready to be bearable to be around...no specific time limit on that one. Tantrums don't really happen too much, but with DS if they happen I just tell him that I will talk with him when he calms down, and then I usually leave the room. With DD21 months I just step away from her. She really doesn't do much, just stomps for a second and she is done. With DS4 when he does something completely unacceptable he sits for a couple minutes, but it is "___ quiet minutes" I do use one minute for age and that works for us. I use it for them to know a behavior is not acceptable. It defeats the purpose if they scream for their time out and then you say "times up, you can get up now" The way I use it, they are calm and then we do a 15 second recap and it's over (recap meaning...what happened, what could you do different next time,) With DD she is way to little. If I will use it for if she screams repeatedly...or something like that. She gets it because after a minute of time out she doesn't do it anymore. I also use time out from objects (ie: if you are banging your cup on the table, your cup takes a little time out). It all works well for us.
