Many of us live with intense family members. Some of these family members are children. Many families do fine with the strict limit thing, but not all. Unstrict limits will cause problems for many kids, but a kid with difficulty doesn't nescessarily have parents who aren't strict. Also, the odds of getting both parents equally strict and invested, are low. That's just part of life.
Lately I've been thinking that what all my family members need is an 'asbestos cup'- and interest that can sop up the overflow of energy that comes from within. My interests tend to change over time. DH's 'cup' usually involves physical labor. DS12 has had a series of 'cups' - some of which I've felt better about and some I've felt worse about. I was tickled about the Rubix cube last summer, and am loving the Chess interest now. OTOH, he whistled for an entire year. I would say that every waking moment was an exaggeration, but it sure felt like that. I think it all goes back to the OverExcitabilities.
Lots of behavior that looks 'diagnosible' in a ND kid, is just plain 'to be expected' for gifted kids. Not all, but lots.
My experience with DS is that usually he does finally 'beat the game,' and be without a place to put his drive for a while. I try to stand ready for those times with new activities that will appeal to both of us.
Also -Some kids transition better than others as well. See 'Your Spirited Child.'
Smiles,
Grinity
