Three comments.
First, my heart goes out to 'Neato. It must be enormously painful to feel that your child's love of learning is being squashed by the very institution ostensibly devoted to engendering it. We are hopeful that our DS will have reasonable accommodations this year, but he is only 4 and I can well imagine this problem is not likely to get any easier.
Second, if you are looking for ideas about how to go deeper in even basic math, I think there are ways. Knowing about addition is not just knowing the addition tables. It could involve knowing the relations between numbers and sizes, numbers and shapes, arithmetic and geometry, and many other things. One good resource for developing these kinds of broad facilities is the old book "Family Math" by Stenmark, Thompson, et. al. (
http://www.amazon.com/Family-Math-Equals-Jean-Stanmark/dp/0912511060) Tons of fun activities in there.
Finally, an interesting context in which to think about the issue of deep vs. fast is that of the emerging Math Circle communities that are sprouting up throughout the country. They are based on an Eastern European model, but much of what is special about many of them here is that they take as their central concern getting kids (and others - they are for adults as well) to enjoy the love of discovering math for themselves. This is inevitably slower, but the idea is that it the knowledge gained is more long-lasting. One of the first American Math Circles has a web-site at:
http://www.themathcircle.org. Check the "Press" button to read various newspaper articles (linked at bottom).
BB
