indigo: your examples are very helpful. At the beginning of the year, I referenced the 504 at the beginning of each "check-in" email, but haven't been lately. The program coordinator suggested to me that I should always let DS' teachers know about the "side stories" (that isn't part of 504) so they could be supportive when he is having issues. I think you are correct, perhaps that is going too far in the TMI direction. Also, agree, the tone of the one was inappropriate.
That said, I'm really glad there is nothing in the 504 that says it only has to be followed if/when mother is stable!
blackcat: That's what I think, too. We don't have a school that understands 2E as far as I know. I have a call in to the counselor at the MS DS is assigned to attend. Maybe I can learn from her what the school could/couldn't do to make sure DS has appropriate supports and challenging curriculum. I have friends whose child attends that school, with a similar 2E profile to my DS, and they haven't been thrilled. I just wonder if it's possible to get an (free) appropriate education with these confusing kids. I love the idea of a gifted case manager. We don't have those, here, but we do have liaisons who might be able to help.
