My DS 11 was in a similar situation last year. He had been playing basketball for a few years but were never good at or seem interested. It became very obvious during the game. His lack of attention and average skills made it very hard to watch a lot of times, especially to my husband. DH was ok with DS being an average player but could not tolerate him not being focused and not being a team player. It created such a tension between them to the point DS's academic performance started to slip due partly to frustration against his dad. Being 11 and not courageous enough, he wasn't ready to say" mom I want to quit basketball". After a couple of weeks, and the spring season came to an end, and I realized we should not hold any expectations for something DS truly did not excel. We decided that it was time for him to quit basketball and discussed with him to only keep activities he truly enjoyed. We totally relaxed in the summer and just enjoyed nature and some self directly learning. It helped! At least, it released tension between DH and DS for the time being.
The point I was trying to make is that, please lower expectations or let him focus on something he is good at and confident about.
