manifests in his having a very difficult time managing constructive criticism and instruction
Have you heard the same concerns from either his hockey coaches or his teachers? If you haven't, I wonder if part of the reaction you're receiving isn't due simply to the advice coming from his parents. I also wonder (this is probably a very naive question so feel free to say, um, pb, you're nuts!).. but why do you expect it to be embarrassing for him to be in the wrong starting position? I'm not a hockey parent, so I can't speak specifically to hockey, but my kids have participated in quite a few sports, from dyspraxic ds who's totally *not* an athlete and not coordinated, to my ds who is a competitive gymnast. There are many times that kids on their teams and in the individual/group sports they participate in don't get things correct or perfect or whatever - some kids repeatedly having the same challenges - but no one gets embarrassed.
I think re the hockey issue with lining up, it's possibly related to his dyspraxia and challenges with direction (at least my ds is still very directionally challenged). If you could figure out some type of touchstone thing that he could always use as a go-by to let him know which way is which for lining up, then have either an understanding teammate or coach give him the hint (*not* his parents), that might give him a tool which will help when he lines up.
Best wishes, and good to hear from you!
polarbear
Yes, I have heard similar concerns from teachers here and there - his current math teacher, in particular. Although he is doing better with that presently ... with his math teacher, I mean. He said to me, "I don't feel like I have to prove anything to Mrs. Math Teacher anymore and so I have been going to her when I do not understand something or why I got something wrong. She's been really nice and I think she likes me now." I have not heard from her yet (I will during the upcoming PT conference) but I suspect her improved attitude towards him has to do with him being open to her instruction and constructive criticism. His attitude of "I know what I am doing I do not need help" when he clearly did need help would drive her crazy. So, I guess that is good - in one area it does seem to be improving.
And, yes, the lining up thing is
definitely related to his dyspraxia. Definitely. Then, he also needs to think about being on the left side or the right side, and well you know how that is for someone like DS! However the left winger/right winger isn't a big thing but he does at least have to be on the correct side. I realized that my husband (who by the way is the assistant coach so he is suppose to be telling DS what to do) may not be explaining it in a way DS understands. I certainly have this problem with DH myself. And DS may not understand but is too proud to admit it and he doesn't get what DH is saying. For example, I personally had no idea where DS is suppose to be either because I did not know the positions. I only knew he was wrong because it causes a bit of a spectacle and a delay each time DS needed correcting. So, I asked DH last night, where is he suppose to be? How does he know where to go? DH gave me an explanation that did not make sense to me so I kept pushing and asking questions. I realized that is the problem - I don't think it has been explained to DS in a way he understands. You are exactly right and that was my thought he needs a way of thinking about it that makes sense to him - he needs like a 'tool' to use each time. I was trying to figure that out! What makes sense to neurotypical hockey player may not make much sense to DS as he thinks differently.
Re embarrassing, you have a point - DS is not the only one who gets it wrong ...occasionally others do too but it is MUCH less frequent. DS almost always has it wrong. I would assume it is embarrassing for it to happen so much at this level. It is especially embarrassing to end up carrying the puck the wrong way,, and that happened because he was in the wrong position in the first place.
