Panzer, here is what I think, YMMV.
An IEP meeting before the school year begins to both change the current IEP (generic ASD IEP template #1)
There should be no generic template of an IEP. It is supposed to be individual. You may insist on rewriting until your child's present levels of performance are accurately described and the goals appropriate.
A change to a much less restrictive environment. Current recommendation is Supplemental Autistic Support with PCA with OT as a related service. He would be in the special classroom for most of the day, only joining reg ed for lunch, recess, and specials.
You should absolutely go observe this classroom for yourself if you have not.
To place him in a special classroom away from typicap peers, they would have to demonstrate beyond reasonable doubt that he cannot succeed in a less restrictive environment. It is their legal obligation to place him in the least restrictive environment in which he can learn, and to provide an appropriate education.
I started emailing and bugging these people last week (it has become clear we will not be making our move out of district in time for the school year, so I really have to get this stuff taken care of.)
We have never succeeded in getting one of these done over the summer. School staff are not contractually obligated to work in the summer.
I don't want my son starting in the classroom they have assigned.
Whom have you talked to (position)? You could go to the person who runs special ed in the district and make it clear you want him placed in the LRE (least restrictive environment), using those words.
They say that we can't have an IEP meeting in the summer due to people being on break. Is this true? And if they are on break how is it that I am able to contact them by phone at the admin building?
They need the teachers and probably some of their specialists for the meeting, and those people are not working in the summer, only the district admins. They are not lying to you here.
Now, point number 2. Apparently Dad was told that my son is too disruptive to be in the typical classroom
What disruptive behaviors does he have, and how are these documented?
There must be data (in the Profile section of the IEP and the Present Levels of Performance section of each IEP goal) that document all this. If he is disruptive, what does he do, and how often? This cannot be asserted without data.
Can they put my son in a more restrictive environment without our permission?
Probably not right away. They would need overwhelming and concrete data that demonstrate that (a) he cannot receive an appropriate education in a regular ed classroom and/or (b) he is so disruptive to the education of others that they are not receiving their appropriate education if he is there.
And how is disruptive defined?
That either he or others cannot access their education appropriately. There are many ways that this can happen.
They said if he does well in the special classroom they will consider moving him to reg ed at the next IEP meeting. Isn't this backwards? Shouldn't we be moving least to most restrictive?
Yes.
So, time passes and no one is thinking ASD much anymore. He has social delays and never really fits in... All of his therapists agree he has very severe ADHD and TS. He also has some anxiety and OCD tendencies. Looking back I can see how that combo plus being gifted could easily be mistaken for asperger's.
That combo basically IS Asperger's with a helping of TS on the side. I find it highly likely that they are not "seeing" ASD clearly because he is so verbal. But honestly, everything you post about him says "gifted and autism" to me. Verbally gifted ASD people are often underdiagnosed.
I would keep the dx, because it will get him the services he needs now and in the future. And he will need significant help to master the social norms of school and play, as well as to address the attention and anxiety issues.
At any rate, I don't want my son in an autistic support class if he isn't even autistic.
I wouldn't want him in a Kindergarten autistic support class (with or without dx) because his academic needs will probably not be met there. (Again, I am making some assumptions along with you, but I would absolutely go look for myself.)
Special education is a SERVICE, not a place. He is entitled to an appropriate education. My bet is that this will take a lot of creativity-- to design a plan that will put him where he will receive appropriate academic instruction and the right social skills and other instruction to remediate his disabilities.
This could mean a regular ed classroom with all available gifted pullouts AND special ed and/or aide support pushed into the classroom to help him grasp the norms he needs to learn.
Or it could mean finding a special education environment where the instruction is taking place at an appropriate level, and the social skills instruction and so forth is right for his needs.
The other kids are much less verbal as they have the language delays typically associated with the diagnosis. My son does not have a paucity of language, he has an annoying excess of language!
Yep. I bet his verbal IQ is sky high, and this makes him look very atypical for ASD.
And while he spent a few years avoiding the other kids (anxiety IMO) he now really loves to play with other children. He will be looking for kids to talk to and play with. He loves to play pretend and makes up elaborate pretend games now. Sure, he didn't pretend at all at 3 and barely at 4, but he has now caught up and often his pretend play goes beyond the other kids in complexity and creativity.
And yet he has trouble fitting in. This is something that can profitably be worked on by push-in special ed services and possibly some extra support in places like recess and gym.
My son has no impulse control. ADHD, TS, and OCD can all be thought of as disorders of impulse control. Any behavior my son has is related to that. He sees another kid spit, he spits too. While the other kid stops as soon as the teacher comes around, mine is still spitting. And likely giggling as he tends to do when joining in with a peer. My son then gets in trouble for spitting and likely annoys the teacher by continuing to laugh. He never would have thought to spit on his own as he tends to be a rule follower (just more of an imitator than a rule follower when there is something to imitate). He might even continue spitting well after the teacher told him not to, either because he didn't hear her or because he just thinks it's so funny and can't seem to stop. He doesn't hurt anyone or try to act out on purpose. Everyone who knows him outside of school agrees he's a hyper kid, but no one sees him as a kid who absolutely could not be managed in a typical K classroom.
He needs to learn to imitate typical peers, and he needs to see them to imitate them.
At the same time, he will need very specialized instruction to master his own thinking, develop self-control, and understand when to imitate others and when not to do so. This stuff is vital to future success ane will need immediate work.
Do you have a private clinician/counselor you work with? Is that person focusing on these issues Can that person help you examine school placements for appropriateness?
I want his placement to be reg ed with the 1:1 he already will have
They have guaranteed you a 1:1? That is unusual going into K. Usually families have to fight to get a 1:1. I would say this makes your discussion easier in some ways. A 1:1 can be placed in the regular classroom and trained to meet your child's particular needs.
However, it does likely mean the school sees your DS's needs as quite serious.
I want him in the typical setting any time he is able to be there.
That is a reasonable expectation.
I want him to be taken to the motor room to run around when he is too hyper for class
How often does this happen, and what are the resulting behaviors if he stays in class? There will need to be a behavior plan in place that states how school is going to manage disruptive behaviors productively.
and the special room (no idea what they call this room, but when I worked in schools kids went there to have tests read or to calm down when upset) when he is upset or just can't manage in some way.
Again, how often does this happen? What does it look like when he gets upset? Is he a yeller/runner or is he quietly upset?
I don't think this is an unreasonable request, but the district made it very clear that they think that it is unreasonable.
What do the data say?
I also want a GIEP that states the changes they will be making to his curriculum. I'm not OK with, don't worry, we will give him enrichment and we have a whole group of smart ASD kids just like your son coming into K this year. That's all I have right now.
I wouldn't be either.
I want him in a reading group with others reading near his level, even if it means out of grade placement for reading.
If you want him placed in a kindergarten classroom, this will be difficult to manage.
Kindergarten to another grade acceleration is very much harder than first to another grade, because kindergarten is often run on a totally separate schedule. Not impossible, but very difficult.
I want him excused from any circle activity that focuses on learning letters, their sounds, numbers, and counting. He has never been successful at circle in his life, not at gym programs or music programs or preschool programs or playgroup and I absolutely know that insisting that he sit at circle and pay attention and not bother others while being taught his letters will not go over well at all.
Kindergarten is very difficult from this point of view. Honestly, nearly all of kindergarten focuses on this stuff-- while also focusing on the things your son actually needs, like social skills and sitting still.
Do you really want him in kindergarten?
Would it be better to put him in a higher grade's autistic support classroom instead, so he could bootstrap the school social skills while getting appropriate academics, and then be placed in the right spot academically when he has mastered enough of them? Only by observing in the classrooms and talking with other parents will you know the score.
For math I think he will be happy to do the easy work. He's grades ahead, but he loves numbers and coloring 5 bunnies pink probably just sounds like fun to him. If they want to give him some harder stuff that's up to them. I doubt if they have any clue how hard they would have to go to actually teach him something. I could ask them to work with him on word problems, he isn't great at them. 2nd grade word problems give him some trouble, whereas 2nd grade math is really easy for him otherwise.
This also makes me think: it is entirely possible that a 2nd grade autistic support classroom in lieu of K could work, if the focus is on building those skills toward transfer into a grade-accelerated situation.
You are going to have to think concretely and ruthlessly about:
--what skills he is missing
--how he can acquire those skills most efficiently
--how his academic needs can be met
We found that remediating ASD like crazy in the early grades--focusing on the disability rather than the giftedness at first-- meant that we could then multiply subject accelerate our child in late elementary. It has worked very well for us. But had I to do it again, I would still have accelerated him earlier, because appropriate math made him happier than any other intervention could have.
For writing and handwriting I am fine with him learning with the rest of the class. He is not particularly advanced in this area.
This is such a small part of the K curriculum. You are essentially asking that he do very little of K but still be included in the K classroom. Frankly, I am skeptical that this can work.
In summary, am I asking for too much? Is the law on my side? I don't want my son to bother the other kids, that's why I want an IEP to address what to do if he is being disruptive.
This should be addressed in a behavior plan as well as in the IEP itself. The IEP takes care of the remedial instruction, but the behavior plan states how staff should handle difficult moments.
These people don't even know my son. Like, at all. Would it be inappropriate if I brought him along to part of the IEP meeting so that they could see the actual child they are demonizing and treating like a label?
I don't think they are intentionally demonizing him. They are looking at his record and trying to place him. They have undoubtedly never seen anyone like him and they do not know what to do.
You need to find out as much as possible about all the placements that are possible, and bring to bear the data you have.
I would schedule an initial conversation with the person who manages special ed for the whole district-- bringing the relevant data to that meeting-- and talk through all the options with that person. This is the part you can probably do in the summer.
I would try to keep an open mind and think concretely about what it is most urgent that your child learn, and focus on getting the placement that fits that need the best, adapting the placement with 1:1 or other help as needed to make it as appropriate as you can.
Hang in there.
