So, I am trying to get my son an IEP meeting to discuss the recommended placement and the new issues as well as areas he has improved in.
What I want:
An IEP meeting before the school year begins to both change the current IEP (generic ASD IEP template #1) and add a GIEP.
A change to a much less restrictive environment. Current recommendation is Supplemental Autistic Support with PCA with OT as a related service. He would be in the special classroom for most of the day, only joining reg ed for lunch, recess, and specials.
I started emailing and bugging these people last week (it has become clear we will not be making our move out of district in time for the school year, so I really have to get this stuff taken care of.)
At this point what I am getting out of our email correspondence and conversations my sons father has had with the school is that they will be happy to schedule us an IEP meeting after school starts. At first it was 3 weeks in, then 2. When I spoke to a nicer person on the team, she offered me first day of school. I don't want my son starting in the classroom they have assigned. I know that if we have the meeting the first day even if we change the classroom, they don't have to actually put the new plan into effect for 10 days. So we would still be looking at 2 weeks in the program I don't want him in. They say that we can't have an IEP meeting in the summer due to people being on break. Is this true? And if they are on break how is it that I am able to contact them by phone at the admin building?
Now, point number 2. Apparently Dad was told that my son is too disruptive to be in the typical classroom and that even if we did start him there he would be moved to the recommended classroom for disruptive behavior and it is pointless for us to start him in reg ed. Is this true? Can they put my son in a more restrictive environment without our permission? And how is disruptive defined? They said if he does well in the special classroom they will consider moving him to reg ed at the next IEP meeting. Isn't this backwards? Shouldn't we be moving least to most restrictive?
Brief overview: My son was diagnosed ASD at 2.5 and 3.5. Now at almost 5.5 he has not been officially reevaluated since then, but every one who works with him thinks either no ASD or ASD so mild it's barely apparent. We are currently working to get a new eval which I'm certain will show no ASD even if there is a touch as even at his prior 2 evals he was completely borderline, showing mild ASD on 2 scales and passing on all of the rest of the scales. He basically couldn't have scored any higher and still been considered on the spectrum. We were told at the time that he might grow out of it or no longer test on the spectrum as he gets older. That ASD might not be what he has, but that he shared enough in common with ASD kids that the treatments would be best for him at that time.
So, time passes and no one is thinking ASD much anymore. He has social delays and never really fits in, but that alone does not indicate ASD. All of his therapists agree he has very severe ADHD and TS. He also has some anxiety and OCD tendencies. Looking back I can see how that combo plus being gifted could easily be mistaken for asperger's. Because the children's hospital where we go does not diagnose ADHD and ASD at the same time (ASD subsumes ADHD) my son does not have an ADHD diagnosis. They did give him an ADHD med though. The TS is not diagnosed. They agreed that he has it, but they can't diagnose until there is a clear history of over 1 year of vocal and motor tics. There actually is one, but they haven't seen it because it was much more transient until very recently.
At any rate, I don't want my son in an autistic support class if he isn't even autistic. The other kids are much less verbal as they have the language delays typically associated with the diagnosis. My son does not have a paucity of language, he has an annoying excess of language! And while he spent a few years avoiding the other kids (anxiety IMO) he now really loves to play with other children. He will be looking for kids to talk to and play with. He loves to play pretend and makes up elaborate pretend games now. Sure, he didn't pretend at all at 3 and barely at 4, but he has now caught up and often his pretend play goes beyond the other kids in complexity and creativity.
My son has no impulse control. ADHD, TS, and OCD can all be thought of as disorders of impulse control. Any behavior my son has is related to that. He sees another kid spit, he spits too. While the other kid stops as soon as the teacher comes around, mine is still spitting. And likely giggling as he tends to do when joining in with a peer. My son then gets in trouble for spitting and likely annoys the teacher by continuing to laugh. He never would have thought to spit on his own as he tends to be a rule follower (just more of an imitator than a rule follower when there is something to imitate). He might even continue spitting well after the teacher told him not to, either because he didn't hear her or because he just thinks it's so funny and can't seem to stop. He doesn't hurt anyone or try to act out on purpose. Everyone who knows him outside of school agrees he's a hyper kid, but no one sees him as a kid who absolutely could not be managed in a typical K classroom.
I want his placement to be reg ed with the 1:1 he already will have with itinerant services available as needed. I want him in the typical setting any time he is able to be there. I want him to be taken to the motor room to run around when he is too hyper for class and the special room (no idea what they call this room, but when I worked in schools kids went there to have tests read or to calm down when upset) when he is upset or just can't manage in some way. I don't think this is an unreasonable request, but the district made it very clear that they think that it is unreasonable.
I also want a GIEP that states the changes they will be making to his curriculum. I'm not OK with, don't worry, we will give him enrichment and we have a whole group of smart ASD kids just like your son coming into K this year. That's all I have right now.
I want him in a reading group with others reading near his level, even if it means out of grade placement for reading. I'm not sure how many kids generally start K reading, but my son is reading around level N right now (based on reading level of his early chapter books according to a website I found). I'm fine with him being paired with and reading at level H or J (I know everyone uses more sophisticated measures, but we don't have testing, so I'm going with the letter system I'm more familiar with), but not with a kid "reading" at level A or B.
I want him excused from any circle activity that focuses on learning letters, their sounds, numbers, and counting. He has never been successful at circle in his life, not at gym programs or music programs or preschool programs or playgroup and I absolutely know that insisting that he sit at circle and pay attention and not bother others while being taught his letters will not go over well at all.
For math I think he will be happy to do the easy work. He's grades ahead, but he loves numbers and coloring 5 bunnies pink probably just sounds like fun to him. If they want to give him some harder stuff that's up to them. I doubt if they have any clue how hard they would have to go to actually teach him something. I could ask them to work with him on word problems, he isn't great at them. 2nd grade word problems give him some trouble, whereas 2nd grade math is really easy for him otherwise.
For writing and handwriting I am fine with him learning with the rest of the class. He is not particularly advanced in this area.
In summary, am I asking for too much? Is the law on my side? I don't want my son to bother the other kids, that's why I want an IEP to address what to do if he is being disruptive. These people don't even know my son. Like, at all. Would it be inappropriate if I brought him along to part of the IEP meeting so that they could see the actual child they are demonizing and treating like a label? Thanks everyone, I'm so glad that I have this site to talk about this stuff and I always get such great advice.
