HK brings up a good point about puberty. My bio dd14 had quite some meltdowns, and then felt terrible and guilty about her behavior and hated feeling out of control. For her it did pass.
I think it is also important to recognize that there are differences between kids who are being raised in their biological families and kids who are not. And I think in a gifted kid this can be even more intense. Obviously not everything is attributable to this...but I believe that a lot more actually is than many APs (myself included) have acknowedged. This is not excusing bad behavior, but rather, considering the impact of early experiences on brain development and how to best understand and respond to help the child regulate.
"In the first year or so after adoption, it’s easy for adoptive parents to remember what a difficult journey their child has been through. As time passes, parents expect their children’s challenging behaviors, anxiety, and mistrust to fade away. And oftentimes, they do. So why does your child still react to lunch being delayed by five minutes if they haven’t gone hungry in eight years? Why is it still difficult for them to trust that moms and dads will meet their needs? Despite years in a safe and loving home- children adopted after traumatic beginnings still feel and act as though they are stuck right in the middle of their trauma. What is happening in a child’s brain when an old memory becomes triggered? Why does it seem as though the past nine years haven’t made any difference in healing a child’s trust in you? Up-to-date information about your child’s brain and the latest understanding in memory processing theory will help provide you with new empathy and understanding about why your child is ‘flipping their lid.’"
https://gobbelcounseling.wordpress.com/2013/06/13/trauma-doesnt-tell-time/
