You should absolutely not feel embarrassed. This is just another example of a school being unable to meet the needs of any child who doesn't fit in their little box. This board is absolutely littered with examples of the same sort of thing. Frankly, I think the school should be embarrassed. Here they have a bright, calm child who's being bullied on a daily basis and who's so bored that he's acting out in self-preservation. And somehow this child is beyond their ability to deal with? Ridiculous.
I understand if you are angry (at them) and overwhelmed (it's a big change) but never feel embarrassed.
It sound to me like the negative behaviors were his way of coping with the bullying and the boredom. Since you are removing both of those factors, the behavior may just self-correct naturally.
Also, I'm guessing from the entire thread that the environment was much more stressful and less supportive than you ever guessed. After all, this started with the teacher saying your DS was the one with the problem! No blame here by the way -- it's incredibly hard to know what's really going on at school. I was always stunned at the lack of transparency with our DDs public schools.
Being in a calm nurturing environment (home) will hopefully be healing for him. Also, as you look for a Dojo (I'm a huge fan of martial arts for kids) make sure the energy is also calm and nurturing. We were lucky enough to find two dojos with that kind of environment, as opposed to being aggressive or frenetic.
Big virtual hugs during this difficult time.
