Perhaps instead you should work with him on his mental perspective towards school rather than looking deeper for something else 'wrong'. I am sure the material or assignments are not perfect and parts of it are boring. That is life. I tell my kids that school isn't necessarily fun. No one is going to make all aspects of school thrilling and exciting all of the time. It's your job as a kid to go to school and learn. And that when you get to be an adult most jobs include tasks that individuals don't enjoy and find boring.
Oh, I agree with you! We have had many conversations about how much of work in life is something done because it
has to be done, not because
one likes it. He's not under any illusion his life at school should be
all interesting, but I think he expects more than what he's getting out of it.
DS recently said to me, "No one is helping me with not liking school." I think he's feeling unheard because we've been unable to make things different. Nothing has changed at school or home since I first posted, btw.
My question would be why does he feel that others should 'fix' all his problems and why does he equate that with not feeling heard? I know he is still a kid but your son is old enough to take ownership of his dislike of school and to learn that mom & dad can't fix everything. Particularly when it comes to feelings. Sometimes in a situation all we as parents can do is listen, and acknowledge a child's feelings.
I'm really having a hard time explaining what I mean. But basically I don't expect it's my job to make sure my children are always happy. My son only tolerated school in junior high. People would ask if he liked school and my stock answer was that he enjoyed "math & band" and honestly if he hadn't liked those two subjects I don't know if I could have gotten him to school.
He really hasn't asked that
all his problems be fixed, and we have said we are sorry he doesn't like school right now. However, we have told him we are working with the teacher to make his day more tolerable. I don't see how advocating for a better fit will make him think we will fix all his problems in school and by intimation, life. He has asked the teacher to make some changes to his assignments but without success. I believe we need to advocate for him at this point.
