Our DS's school is not enclosed - visualize motel rooms rather than hotel rooms. So one thing I do is peek in the windows every day to see if I can spot something specific to ask about. "What was that long chart on the wall with tick marks all about?" He'll usually explain what was going on and occasionally this will lead to a broader discussion of school, friends, etc.
I have to be well-prepared for what I hear though. Sometimes I hear pleasant things about lunch with his best friend (yay!). But sometimes .... At base he has a visceral rage at how boring school is. When let loose, he will need some time to work through how "stupid and boring" school is, how his teacher will argue with him about facts when he knows he is right (this happens regularly), how he's not allowed to check non-fiction books out of the library, and on and on.
I think it helps him to let it out. We all need to vent about our jobs sometimes, right? But it's terrifying to see sometimes how much it seems physically painful for him.
All the time he says, "Mom, I wish I could just go to graduate school." I'm not sure he really even knows what graduate school is, but somehow he has sussed out the relative independence that can come with it.
So anyway - maybe peek in the classroom from time to time to find something to ask about? Opens the door for us.
Sue
