MichelleC, you do have a difficult choice!
Here are my thoughts based on my own research on this board and other places, as well as my experience with my 10 yo HG dyslexic/dysgraphic, who was diagnosed at 9. First though, I would encourage you to check out the Eide's information about stealth dyslexia. There is a slideshare online that details how dyslexia presents differently in gifted kids. I keep going back to it, because the info is so right and helpful. If I hadn't found their research, I think I would still feel lost and confused!
We have always homeschooled. The diagnosis occurred when my mom spider sense started to go off as I watched him learn to read. When he was eight, I started asking questions. Lindamood Bell has an inexpensive evaluation that they offer. I took him over there when they were having their "summer special," and he was at or above grade level in all of his skills, according to their testing. (But their tester had never had a kid score so high on the PPVT either.) His comprehension was much higher than his fluency and decoding skills, a gap they acknowledged was unusual. And I knew that this was a hallmark of what the Eide's describe as stealth dyslexia. But I felt reassured that he was at least at grade level, so I hired a reading specialist to tutor him once a week, and let it be.
She did her own assessment, and I think she thought I was a crazy "that mom" when I started spouting off about him possibly being gifted and dyslexic. Her little assessment showed essentially the same thing as LMB's -- high in comprehension, relatively lower in other skills, but still not substantially behind. She works at a local fancy private school, and said that he would have been in the middle reading group there.
I also took him to two developmental optometrists. The first one gave him a bs diagnosis. The second was much more professional and thorough, and correctly diagnosed him with far sightedness for which he was compensating. He got vision therapy for several months to prepare him for eye glasses that he uses for reading.
Then, finally, I had the full psycho ed eval done, and there was the definitive diagnosis.
Like your husband, there is a way I tend to "disbelieve" the diagnosis at times. He functions at or even significantly above grade level, so how can he "really" have dyslexia? Won't he just "grow out of it?" I asked that question many times of knowledgeable people, and I kept getting the same answer, so I will share it with you: Gifted dyslexics compensate well for awhile. In middle school and high school, their compensation strategies tend to break down, and then they struggle. So it IS better to attack it aggressively early. Kai from this board is one person who helped me with this, and she had another point, too: It is much easier to get a kid to comply with interventions when he/she is 8,9,10, or even 11. Twelve and 13 yo's start to buck your authority, though. So now is a good time to work at this, before adolescence sets it.
We chose to do two intensive (and expensive) weeks at LMB. (I went back with diagnosis in hand.) I know you said they don't have it in Canada. You might even be able to travel to do this for two weeks, however. In addition, they have just started doing tutoring remotely over the internet. My son did some follow up tutoring in this manner since it was a bit of a drive for us. I felt that my son would be more motivated and compliant for the intensive, short-term remediation, and this is LMB's model.
My son was not the usual kind of kid that LMB sees. He started at a much higher level, and progressed much faster. Probably many families would choose not to spend that kind of money when a kid is performing in the average or better range on academic tasks, but I felt I had looked into that question, and that it would be worth it long term to address the issue.
We did LMB over a year ago. It definitely "worked" in terms of his reading. I have him read aloud to me three days per week from fairly difficult stuff. (Short stories by Richard Matheson, Robert Bloch and Ray Bradbury -- he likes horror :)) These stories are challenging in terms of comprehension, but also at times in terms of language. When he comes across a word he doesn't know, I am THRILLED to hear him SOUND IT OUT! There is almost no wild guessing on multi-syllabic words. This is how I know LMB worked. Very few weird insertions or replacements, either. (One funny story -- the other day he was reading and he read "Now there, let's have no talk of drying!" I stopped him because I knew that was wrong. I thought he had fallen into an old habit and inserted an "r" where there was none, but in fact, it was a typo in the text!)
Writing, spelling, and handwriting are still a work in progress, and I am continuing to remediate those at home. There is no question that he is below grade level in those skills. I can see that he is making progress, but he still needs supports in those areas.
Wow. This was longer than I meant it to be. I guess my point is that there is something to be said for intensive early intervention, especially in a short burst. And it is normal to "disbelieve" the severity of the diagnosis. These kids can be so impressive one day, performing at a really high level. Then the next, they totally bonk something or struggle greatly. The "right level" seems to change almost daily. This is normal, but it is important to hold to the course and realize they will not look like other kids!
I hope some of this is helpful!
