Thanks so much for the very prompt and thoughtful replies - I’m guessing that slight edge of hysteria in my voice carried…. Warning, long reply below.
All of you have confirmed what I suspected - that “severity” is really only meaningful in terms of symptoms and how amenable they are to remediation. Until we’ve put some major effort into supports, we can’t begin to judge how much impact the dyslexia is really having, or might have in the long term.
polarbear, thank you for the big, deep calming breath! I think the big problem I’m having is that while yes, our psych did give us advice, it is more underwhelming than overwhelming. It’s appropriate, but fairly general, and includes the standard items: (a) Do an phonological-based reading program; (b) Provide accommodations in the classroom - assistance with writing, using non-writing formats where possible, extra time and (c) Start building skills with AT.
Six weeks after providing the psych report, we are finally meeting later this week with the school’s learning resource teacher and DD’s teachers to plan the IEP and the way ahead. Unfortunately, while the school is willing and well-meaning, it is clueless and has zero resources. It is clear that any form of remediation is beyond the school’s capacity, and isn’t done (French immersion public school - apparently they don’t do that). All they can offer is accommodations.
I have been researching like crazy, but find the information maddeningly vague. Yes, she needs OG remediation, but what else? And then what? And what to do in the meantime? What does she require to be able to access the rest of the curriculum? Do we need a new approach to math? What about once she’s completed basic phonological training? If I know the school really can’t do anything, it’s left to me to figure all of these out, and I haven't yet found any solid info.
While we have been waiting for our school meeting, the spec ed resource has consulted with the board psych, and has been working out plans with DDs teachers. In theory, they've now spent six weeks working on the IEP, and should now have a basic grip on what they’re dealing with. But this week I get a report card, proudly noting that they are helping her reading by focusing on sight words….(.argh - she’s a champion guesser who can’t decode). And her math homework is returned, noting expectation that every single calculation should be accompanied by multiple full sentences of explanation and conclusion. double argh.
It’s not that these individual examples are unsolvable - its that they suggest a gulf of understanding so vast, I don’t know if trying to bridge it is even a good idea. It’s going to be REALLY difficult to have this conversation without sounding like I’m attacking absolutely everything about the curriculum and their teaching, and of course they’ll get defensive - who wouldn't?
At home we’ve now done a month of All About Reading (a do-it-yourself OG-style program) (thanks aeh!). I can now clearly see DD’s (previously well-hidden) deficits. She may have been reading bits of Percy Jackson to us when we really forced her, but take away her context cues and she has unmistakeable troubles with lists of random three letter words. We’ve got a long haul ahead of us, and this is where I get confused. Are we just trying to survive a year, while we “get caught up” on reading? Or do I need to be thinking about this as a much more global problem, for which she really needs to be in a seriously different kind of learning environment over a longer term? That, I guess, is the core of my question.
So aeh - the bottom line with respect to monitoring whether the interventions are working, is that the interventions are singular, and I’m it. I just can’t judge if that is remotely adequate. Or how long I should wait for results before taking more substantive action. The IEP will not be tracking achievable objectives, because it won’t include anything intended to improve the situation. (No Wright’s law here…)
So the more I see, the less I know what I am even asking them for. DD brings home French homework and math (using the term math very loosely), and I have no idea what I should be doing with it or expecting her to do with it. Should I scribe or let her practice writing? DH was upset when I said I was reading the French homework to her, that’s she needs to practice to keep up in school. But without doing any phonological training in French, is trying to make her read and write at grade 3 level useful? Cruel? Actually damaging, because it’s encouraging her to fake it and sight read, the habits I’m desperately trying to break her of?
Thank you for the deep breaths, the calming words, and the reminder that this is a journey. Take a step. Take another step.
It’s just that I’m suddenly terrified we’re going in the exact wrong direction.
Fundamentally, I guess really what I am asking is simply - should I stay or should I go?
Up to this week, I had been thinking (pending school discussion) that for this year, at least, we would try as Bluemagic suggests - regular school with accommodations, remediation outside. It can be me and/ or tutors - if I could only figure out what I wanted them to do do. Bluemagic - I’d love to hear more about what you sought from the tutor and how you integrated the two, especially in earlier years if you were dealing with a need for major catch-up, not just keeping up.
Maybe she’s just a *little* dyslexic. Maybe she’s mostly asynchronous, and just needs a year to catch up. Or maybe she needs a great deal more than that, and she's in a school that can't provide it. How do I know?
The mismatch between where she is currently functioning and their overall expectations seems to be huge. How much damage could this do to her? Does she instead need to be in the hands of experts where the whole curriculum will be presented in ways that would presumably be accessible, and the expectations on her would be reasonable for where she is at at this time? We do have two specialized LD private schools in the city, so this is an option we have to consider.
I wish so much I could see the world through her eyes, and have a clue what she sees, and how things actually work for her.
