aeh, it sounds as though your style and mine are quite similar.
I like the 'just asking' mode-- which paints ME as the "dumb" one in a discussion or problem-solving session... or "hey, I had this crazy idea..." when I want credit for something.
This technique was so ingrained in me, having grown up in academia and then drifted into working in it, too... that my transition to parent-advocate was pretty seamless. This is one of the few methods of getting unpleasant info or changes made with educators. It's not
manipulative exactly... well. Okay, maybe it is. {sigh}
It's evolved over time into a complete communication strategy, though, and I have some trouble being assertive enough to just turn it off and be me.
