Debbie,
The list is a great idea. The more prepared you are in advance, the better. It also alleviates the pressure of having to remember, in the moment (with teachers/administrators staring at you), everything you wanted to say.
I also think giving them the list ahead of time is a good idea. If you're worried about how they might perceive it, you could include a short cover letter to "set the tone"... perhaps something like:
"Dear X,
I thought it would be helpful to prepare for our upcoming meeting on Wednesday by researching some possible ways to differentiate instruction for [son's name].
The attached list presents X different options, with pros and cons of each, for us to mutually explore. I hope that you will find some time to review this information before our meeting, so we can make the best use of everyone's time and agree on a course of action as soon as possible.
I have put much thought and effort into compiling these options, but please know that I am open to exploring any additional suggestions you may have. I greatly value your professional training and experience as educators, and look forward to hearing your thoughts and ideas.
I am confident that we can work together to create the most appropriate educational experience for [son's name]."
