A retired GIFTED teacher says:

"I would definitely not put him in 4th grade or let him skip a grade. Challenging him is the problem, not accelerating. Even gifted students need a good solid foundation. The teacher can give him other work, if he pre-tests out of the subject. a 97 % does not necessarily mean "true gifted." 97% is the cut off for being tested in <SD>. There are other criteria. He will be tested in 2nd grade this year in <SD> and see if he makes the gifted program. If he does he will be challenged there.
I would think about sending him to 2nd grade, but letting the staff there know his gifts. Social skills are important for gifted children also."

Granted, all she knows about my child is that he scored 97 %tile on the End of 2nd grade ITBS.

HS: I don't understand my husband's objections to HS. My issue with it is that Pud would rather just read what he wants to read and do ALEKS on the computer than actually do what I tell him to do. For example, he takes piano lessons. He won't practice, no matter how much we reward, discipline, punish, encourage, motivate. He just decides he IS NOT going to do it. I did join a HS group and they have lots of activities. Pud doesn't know what he wants. No child care set up yet - unless I put him in a daycare, I haven't found an answer to that yet. I'm not sure what's causing our struggles now, either, Kriston. We set some goals for the summer - mostly things he wants to learn, with 2 things I threw in there that I know he needs to keep up with (like writing and math facts). But, one of his goals is to learn division. I taught him the basic "it means how many times will x go into y" or "how many 4s does it take to make 12". He got that quickly and did 1 1/2 pages or problems. He now refuses to do any more problems. So, maybe we've met the goal and maybe we haven't. Maybe that's part of the problem - defining what the goals actually mean.

As for last year, he made one friend, who, unfortunately, moved to Utah just after school was out. He hasn't even mentioned any of the other kids from school. He had an okay year - it was really hard for me. The teacher was totally resistant to making any changes. I saw that he was not being challenged. He said he liked school but it was a battle every morning to get him dressed and there. He would fall apart frequently at home. Well behaved everywhere but at home (which I saw as a sign of struggling at school to be a "first grader" with "first grade answers"). He says he'd like to HS because it wouldn't be so boring as getting dressed and getting to school every day. He'd like the grade skip because he'd learn new things. When I told him he had done well enough on the test to skip, he sang "I'm good, yeah, I'm good" (which lead to a discussion about arrogance).

I'm not worried so much about college per se, just thinking what long term ramifications are of skipping. It just seems scary. I also don't know how I'll pay for private school.

I have not gone above the principal yet. That was my next step but I couldn't get a meeting before school was out and now everyone is gone for the summer. They won't be back until Aug 11. If I go that route, which I still plan to do regardless of my choice, I don't see anything happening in time to help Pud for fall. It seems unfair to make him sit through 2nd grade (the first half of which is a review of 1st grade) while I meet with the muckety-mucks and try to get changes made.

I guess the way I am looking at it is that I feel too much pressure right now to make a good choice about HS or about advocating through the school district. Putting him in 3rd at the private seems like a decent short term solution while I figure out what to do next. That might mean working with DH to educate him more about what HS is. That might just mean letting things go for the summer (I'm out of town all next week and then we're all gone 2 weeks in August. Unfortunately, SCA starts before we get back from our trip (Pud will be with grandparents so they can take him to school) and the public school starts the Monday after we get back. I feel like I have to make a decision quickly, but maybe I don't. I don't know by when SCA needs a commitment. I guess we could just wait and do something at the last minute, even if that meant he didn't start either school on time.

All in all, I feel caught between a rock and a hard place. I keep telling myself to just let it go but it doesn't seem to be working. Thanks, all, for your comments and for "listening". Maybe I should just let SCA know that I think we'll be doing 3rd grade there and not make a commitment yet. I don't know. I'm very stressed about it and didn't realize how much until I typed this post.