DD8 is also intensely independent. I sometimes feel like I am living through the teenage years, now, too. She has never had a full IQ test, but the abbreviated test she has had gave numbers above the DYS minimum.
DD can entertain herself for very long periods of time (and was always extremely creative and never bored when amusing herself on time outs).
DD prefers her independence over her desire to please others.
I do not have any suggestions, but I, too, feel as though I could use some ideas about how to be more effective with such an independent young child.