I just want to second the recommendation for martial arts, for several reasons:
* It's competitive, but the competition is primarily with yourself. And the hierarchy is based in knowledge and respect, it has a reason.
* It's athletic, but should have a calm focused aspect. It can help the shy child come out of their shell, the fidgety scattered child concentrate, the over-excitable child calm themselves, and the energetic child burn off some of that energy.
* It's more intellectual than some sports (there can be lessons and forms to learn, etc.) but a PG kid won't have an advantage just for being smart. What you get out of it really is directly proportional to what you put in (a lesson DD desperately needed to learn).
* It teaches conflict avoidance and resolution, as well as self-defense... highly independent children may need those skills sooner than others.
DD has been in martial arts since she was 4. When she got burned out on one style, we switched to another. She guides all the rest of her elective activities, but on this we insist... she will do martial arts regularly until she leave our home. The benefits to her emotional, social, and mental well-being have been enormous.
As an aside, if you look for a dojo avoid the following: places with long contracts and expensive uniforms, places that charge money to test your child (and test frequently), places that are only about fighting, places that don't feel both calm and energetic. I recommend looking for smaller dojos and avoiding large franchised chains. The teachers should command respect just by standing there. The actual type or form matters less.
