Screen time is a big issue for me too. IMO, it simply can't be a good thing that some children are growing up not knowing how to entertain themselves, without a screen, for little stretches of time. Also, what I have noticed, is that my kids come up with some of the most creative ideas and projects when they are "bored" without any devices.
In our house, we teach moderation. So that means 1 hour a day of screen time. You get to choose how you use it: TV show, Minecraft, youtube, games (with adult supervision of course). We also teach moderation of other things. You get to have soda once a week and ice cream once a week too (not on the same day though!). Of course there are some times when exceptions are made, ex. during illness (lots more screen time) or birthday parties (ice cream and soda in the same day).
My kids will absolutely NOT be getting their own devices until they can pay for them. I expect around 12-13 they will be motivated enough to pay for a device.
As far as not reading as much if they get computer time - my son does his 1 hour on the computer and then proceeds to read 4-5 hours straight on the weekends. Doesn't seem to be making a dent in reading.
And no, I don't think you have held your children back by not allowing them screen time. I always explain to my children that every family is different. My son has a friend who has to bathe every day. This is one of the most horrible things that my DS7 can imagine being inflicted on him, at this point. This same friend can seemingly play unlimited video games. But it's the bathing once a day that sticks out to my son. My son is happy to be in our family, where you only get 1 hour of screen time, but you are not forced to bathe every single day. Different family, different rules.
