hello,
As I find my family slightly unusual as far as how little time our kiddos get computer/ipad/phone/tv time, I wanted to ask you folks what your thoughts and experiences are. I hope while asking you this, I do not offend anyone as is not my intention to do so and I do not feel that what we are doing is the better way (actually starting to have self doubts) but as I do not really have anyone to discuss this with, I would love to hear your thoughts.
In our household, we do not have cable and what we watch primarily if we, the parents do at all, are programs such as PBS masterpiece, documentaries and movies on Netflix if time allows for that on the weekends. I do spend too much time on the computer however. The kids get very little time in front of the TV as they are usually busy with school and extra curricular activities. My DS8 has never been too interested in TV (unless it is something like how it's made or mythbusters and he has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers. After much reading and research on giftedness, I am starting to question this disagnosis, but I digress. He loves games such as Minecraft however, but I do limit this to once a week for about an hour.
My DD6 (recently tested as HG+) LOVES tv. Anything and everything on TV will attract her rapt attention. If she hears a youtube video teaching a recipe, for example, she will come running without fail - well, unless she is reading. It happens in restaurants, waiting lobbies, etc. We often have to strategically seat her so that she is not facing these screens when we eat out so she will get something in her mouth. But that often fails as she manages to contort her body in the strangest position so she can get her screen fix.
Because my husband was diagnosed with ADD (which happened after we got together due to me asking him to pursue this avenue..I mean why else could a highly intelligent person be so disorganized, constantly be late, have trouble with rote memorization at school - this was before I really knew what gifted could mean and so I also wonder if this was a correct diagnosis) I have been determined not to let the kiddos, in particular DD, have to much TV time as I have read that this can contribute to children developing ADHD. Both kids have an incredible amount of energy and they cannot sit still. DS is always fidgeting and DD, well I wonder how she can move and talk ALL DAY the way she does.
The biggest reason for the lack of screen time in our house however is due to an experience I encountered a few years ago, when my DD was about 2.5 years old. Up to then, the kids had leapfrogs games and they would play an odd hour here or there. I was at a playground with her and I saw a mother approach with her young child in a stroller; I would say she was approximately 7 to 8 months old. I was immediately attracted to them because the baby was holding her phone and was intently watching a music video which I could hear coming from it. The mother promptly took her out of the stroller, and proceeded to plunk her down into a swing. I was so fascinated by the interaction between the two because whilst the mother was pushing her on the swing, the baby was so intently engrossed with the phone that she not once looked up at her and indicated her pleasure of being pushed. Up to this point, I had never seen a child with a lack of response on the swing and it kind of unnerved me, simply put.
After that day, I started to notice just how many kids are disconnected with their families, in particular their parents because of their engagement with phones, etc. I almost always see kids on phones in restaurants, while waiting for their food, or even playing with them when they should be eating. I see ipads snuggled in "child friendly" cases with stands, placed right in front so that parents can eat in peace. I often find for us, that these moments are prime for having interesting in-depth discussions with our kids and we also like to play words games such as come up with a new word from the last letter that the previous person has said, etc. I noticed how most if not all kids in my kids Taekwondo class are immediately on their phones whilst waiting for a sibling to finish their lessons. I sometimes see kids reading or doing their homework but those kids tend not to ever have phones on. One of my best friends has a DS that is constantly watching TV or playing with the phone. When they came over a sleepover last year (they live about 3 hours away), her DS cried and asked why he couldn't have the his phone to watch videos before falling asleep like he usually does. My son was quietly watching and observing this. I have never said anything to her but she tells me how he doesn't like to read and is really behind in reading at school, and that makes me want to tell her to shut the things off, but I feel I do not want her to think I am judging her parenting style.
My kids are both advanced readers, and I am not sure if it is a result of the lack of screen time in our home. However, getting to the main point of this post, I am starting to wonder if I am excessively withholding "technology" from their lives. We just moved to an fairly affluent neighborhood from the SF bay area and many of kids have their own devices at home or school. Most kids I see in my DS classroom are pretty saavy on the computer and I can see how far he is behind on navigating on the computer, typing up reports, etc. I also started letting my DD have a litte time on the ipad everyday so she can explore brainpopjr. I still discourage them from going on the computer the local library in order to play games, and I can see they think it's totally unfair when so many kids are on them.
We are thinking of getting a laptop for them soon, and due to common core, teachers are expecting a certain mastery on the computers these days. My question is how much is too much? Did I inadvertently hold them back by preventing them time for self discovery on topics of interest on the web? I guess I am concerned that once I allow more computer time, they are not going to want to read as much. Would love to hear any of your thoughts on this. Sorry this post is so long!
