oh, Niki... my heart goes out to you (and Gardengirl09!) - your situation sounds so similar to what we went through with trying to talk to the Pre-K teachers last year with DD. we literally had two classroom teachers pretend that DD had no issues at all, and was exactly like all the other kids - in every possible way. well, except for all the things that simply couldn't be happening because they apparently weren't "developmentally possible."
as it turns out, they didn't actually have an entire class of kids who could blithely talk you through a double-lung transplant - but they did have a very good idea of how to shut down meaningful dialogue.
all the best - i'm sorry i don't have any great advice - our situation ended pretty badly with the school, and i really wish i could offer you something more useful than empathy. i spent most of last year just screaming inside the echo chamber of my own head - so please do vent away!
