I think MotherofToddler offers terrific advice on communication that shows interest without praise. There is a time for praise, but it doesn't have to come with every accomplishment. The value that I'd highlight is in the initiative, the curiosity, and the perseverance that leads to those achievements. By highlighting something your DD is doing, you are singling her out in the group as a somebody worthy of attention. That's huge!
For instance, when my son was proudly showing me his paintings today, I said these things:
- You sure seem to like painting!
- I see you chose to use many colors in this picture, and you mixed many of them by yourself. How did you make orange?
- The stippling is really eye-catching.
- I love painting with you.
- Which painting would you like to hang on the wall? (We display his artwork in frames with our "real" art. I think that is a good way to communicate that his work is important.)
I get the sense from your posts that, like near us, parents are in the habit of over-praising. It can be jarring to be the only child within earshot not acknowledged. That being said, I'm not convinced that constant praise will be of service to these children. It may lead to perfectionism, reduced intrinsic motivation, and lower self-efficacy.
Frankly, I think your daughter will be better off psychologically than her peers for her lack of over-praise. I actually consciously try to avoid people who fawn over my son (20 mos) for the reasons I listed.
