It sounds like your child needs a lot of attention to be "full". What I'd recommend is focusing more on detailed observations as conversation starters and less on praise.
If she is playing with blocks, you can notice "I see you are building a castle and using yellow triangles for the top. Who lives in your castle?" If she is climbing on monkey bars "You made it to the second monkey bar, strong DD! Do you think you can make it all the way to the 5th monkey bar?", if she is digging a hold in the sand "That hole is so big you could fit both of your feet in it. What are you making?" if she is painting a picture "I see you painted a cat and a dog. Is that our cat?"
You can fill the same need for attention without praise, especially if you focus on giving frequent detailed observations several times an hour that encourage a positive interaction between each of you. This works with other people's children at playdates too. Make an observation, ask a question, repeat. So much better than praise! They don't need to hear that they are smart and perfect, they need to see they are worth paying attention to.
I gave the outrageous example about future jobs just to point out that we need to be aware of what value we put into our child's achievements and think about whether it's reasonable. My child can count past 20 too but I don't really think about it at playdates. She's counted in front of other adults, they don't make a big deal out of it, I smile and we move on and I don't really think about it after that. What do YOU think it means when one child counts higher than another child? Because I don't think it means much in the grand scheme of things but if you think it means some significant, that's what's going to annoy other parents, whether you say it or not. That could be why they avoid bringing attention to it when she does it in front of them. I don't know what value you put on these skills, that's why I ask.
