Hello, I am new to the forum and need some help. I found this website from browsing.. I have a 2yr old, nearly 3 who i think may be gifted and up til now the internet has answered all my parenting questions, but now i am stuck. I need someone to talk to..
Although from 18 months old dd knew her abcs and all the letters sounds, no one seemed to notice as i was home with her all the time. Everyone i talked to about my surprise at her achievements, gave me the impression they thought i was drilling her..that confused me.. it couldn't be further from the truth (as i am sure you all know). As she turned 2 she was talking rings round me with why? and was full of questions. I was branching out as a new mom and getting very excited about all she could do and joined in with my friends and playground mams talking about how amazing our kids are, only to discover after i blurted too much that my little one was miles ahead of anyone else and i wasn't allowed say anything unless i wanted backs turned on me and to be left isolated. So sadly i've learned to shut my mouth. I had already said too much though as people who i thought were friends could only focus on the negative aspects of my child from then on, as if she and I needed grounding. The fact that she liked to be alone studying something or other for ages, including kids at a distance didn't help. They looked at her like she was odd. She is always tuned in to how people feel and told me she didn't like how any of the mammys on the playground looked at her (her own words @ 2.5), or any of the kids because they were too rough. She is super gentle and hates to see any form of roughness, including kung fu panda images or me killing a fly! but this is all turned into negative by anyone outside the family.. they say she needs more contact with kids to "learn kid behaviour". (personally i think she has already gone beyond it, but how do you say that?!!) I tried some one on one playgroups, but each time my little one was running rings around the other, in talking, memory, general realization/know-how etc. and i never had to say a word, the moms saw it straight away and they subtly got out of meeting up anymore.. they spent their time comparing anyway which was embarrassing, so maybe it was a good thing. But what do i do now?
Once she was called a drama queen which is what stings most. Its almost moms bullying my kid. She had bumped her head after another kid pushed her and she couldn't handle either thing and she just cried uncontrollably while shouting at me to just leave her, and then went to calm down at the top of the slide like an older kid would sort themselves out.. I know that she is very sensitive, but i have read it goes hand in hand with being gifted and am learning to help her deal with eg. when a bee gets squashed or theres a stone in her shoe, to which she will squeal about, because it hurts! I never dramatize any of these situations, its just in her. I'm sure someone out there will get it.. I've changed playgrounds to a point that i don't know where to go anymore. I have lost friends and am feeling alone..
Since she has been two i have never discussed her achievements with anyone because i can't, and she constantly hears other people going on about their kids.. As a result of me not talking about her she seemed to one day come to the conclusion of: 'i'm boring, i don't know anything'. This has been the final straw for me. I can't take it and don't know where to turn for reassurance that this isn't affecting her in a bad way.
Another thing, she looooves to talk to adults and they don't love to talk to her even if its about the planets or why we see shadows. No one likes a know it all i guess.. is what i tell myself when i see people scoff at her, instead of woah look what this 2yr old knows. She sees that people ignore her and i'm feeling so sad for her right now. i know things will change when she goes to school and will make friends herself, but til then i think i will go crazy by everyones cold shoulder. It hurts so bad and i am so afraid of the damage it is doing to her. What can i say when they put their hands over their ears when she screeches because the bridge at the playground is too wobbly and she thinks she will fall? What can i tell them when they scoff at her knowledge as if i've programmed her? I should be proud but all i feel is embarrassed because i don't know what to say, and she is picking up on it.
I'm feeling exhausted. I know no one will ever love my child like i do, but am i wrong to expect some recognition for her. She is a lovely kid. All the people i meet who either don't have kids or are past a certain age absolutely love and adore her so i'm not delusional. She has a small family around her and those other people work or are away all day and all i'm left to deal with are the playground or toddler group mums. Any suggestions on how to handle them and their rudeness? should i just hide at home praising her myself til school?
