P
Your DD has visited all these schools,so has an idea of what going to them would mean. So what does she want? What is she willing to try? I agree with the others that #2 sounds like a problem, just starting from the perspective that's it's probably the worst thing for you after the years you have had, it's not likely to make you feel comfortable.
We moved to get DS his gifted school, we gave up the house for an apt. I have a longer commute but he doesn't and he's happy. DS doesn't do after school because its such a long day but the school is working, and they are working with me. I would go with option 1 and trying to figure out a halfway option. Your DD could continue to see her friends on the weekend, but being with DH is better for you and her- if there was anyway to stay together and do 1 I would go for that.
Alternatively would you be willing to try 2 or 3 and pull her for 1 if it didn't work out, can you do that? At least that way, the fight with district will be delayed.
In my experience what was important for us was to make sure we were comfortable with our decision - if you are not you are always second guessing yourself and that is just not a good way to live. On the other hand if you did 1 and living with your mom turned out o be too rough, you could always move back and try some thing else. Or move so e place else - unless your DH is job locked.
HTH,
DeHe
