I've read that one before and what really stuck with me was the comment about turning to the student and asking, "Did you do that?". How demeaning for a teacher! A person in authority who is, in their presence, being asked by a child if their account of an event happened or not. Kids lie to get out of trouble. (This is not apropos in accusations of abuse, of course.)
You know I read that and had a completely different thought pattern. My wife is a teacher of 29 years for MS & HS. My first thought pattern was wondering what the teacher would get so upset about if a parent did that? Why would one immediately assume that the question assumes the teacher is lying? How many times have any of us, knowing full well the answer asked our children, "Did you do X?" simply to confront them and have them admit guilt as part of holding them accountable? If a teacher immediately takes offense / becomes defensive in this scenario, then they've got confidence problems and aren't thinking past the end of their nose.
I know my kids feel that the worst punishment they can get is when I've confronted them and they see the deep disappointment in my eyes and perhaps get that verbal confirmation, "I'm really disappointed in your actions, you're a better person than that, so SHOW me that's true." I will, however, always discuss the issue with them and hear their side of the story before I make that judgement, to do otherwise is treating them with less respect than I do the teacher. I've raised my sons, I've lived with them for 15 and 19 years respectively, I know them like the back of my hand, yes, I'm going to treat them with as much respect and trust as I do the teacher and I'm going to question both my child and the teacher, their actions, their motives, and how they plan to move forward from this point. I hold myself accountable, I hold my kids accountable, and I'll hold a teacher accountable but not without getting to the bottom of things. There are precious few people who's word I take at face value simply because of a position they hold or a family status. Someone who I've met a couple of times and who's been involved in my child's life for less than 100 hrs. isn't one of them.
