Don't think i can add much yet to this post, as DS4 is in 3 hours/2-day-week preschool. Except to say he doesn't hate it too much now (his teacher "gets" his giftedness and was the first person to mention to us that he would probably need acceleration at some point). It's mostly a play-based preschool, and teach engages DS in things that will challenge him.

i sent you a pm with other thoughts.