Oh marytheres, this sounds horrible! I am so sorry your ds is experiencing the taunts in the drop-off line and the things the para has said. Were you wrong to say something? ABSOLUTELY NOT! You *needed* to speak up for your ds and you did.
Our ds hasn't been specifically yelled at (as far as I know), but we've experienced quite a bit of the issue of people at school thinking he's slow just because he's unmotivated or lazy or just slogging along. Can you let us know how your drop-off line works at school (for drop-off and pick-up)? The way I respond might depend on how it's done at your school.
I also am going to think a bit before responding about how I would reply to the para and drop-off situation. I need to let it sit and meditate on it awhile - not sure I have a good answer off the top of my head
I have to be honest, when we ran into these types of situations at ds' first school, we fought and fought and advocated and educated on and on and on and it never really changed much. DS was always very slow at his cubby in the morning and when it was time to get ready for lunch; ds' teacher knew he was dyspraxic, we explained it in meeting after meeting, provided literature, provided extra copies of ds' diagnoses and neuropsych report, emailed emailed emailed, shmoozed, ranted in a pc manner, you get the point. Nothing ever really got through to her that this was something that was a part of who he was and no amount of hurrying him along was going to make him move any faster. Same thing happened with most everything else we either had an issue with or needed to advocate for. Changing schools was like a breath of fresh air - I didn't realize how much the brick walls we were running into were simply a piece and parcel of the school culture where he was attending. I hope that's not the case for you and your ds.
I'll be back later with some ideas.
Sending you and your ds a big hug!
polarbear
