So, right on the heels of the big brew-ha-ha over the school attempting to take away Ds's writing accommodations (scribing). I find out something else distrubing!
DS often mentions an aid that he doesn't like. Apparently, a lot of children, or at least Ds's friends, do not like her so I never thought too much of it. Yesterday, DS mentions school has been more pleasant without said aid around "criticizing him all of the time." (the exact words he used). When I asked for examples of how the paraprofessional "criticizes" him, he gave me one. He said that aid was scribing for him and, while she was scribing for him, she said to him "Look at Peter! Look at what a good job Peter is doing writing! That is what YOU should be doing, DS." Like I said, she said this while she was scribing him. DS said she makes comments like that to him a lot and that he hates how she makes him feel. I can't say that I blame him. I was only told of this yesterday, otherwise I would have certainly brought it up at the IEP meeting.
So I feel like a pain but I also feel like this also needs to be addressed. So, I email teacher and cc'd principal explaining the situation and ask teacher if she would please talk to said aid about this and also would she please explain to her why my son needs a scribe and should not push himself to write because of neuromuscular condition that results in weak muscle tone and weak joints.
I get an email back from principal that seemed annoyed with me. It said that he would speak to said aid about DS's "perceptions" and if "he decides something needs to be adjusted they will adjust it in the best interest of the child." Should I not have said something? I guess maybe the school has to be careful about not admitting guilt but the tone of the email to me was condescending, I thought... It seemed like he was annoyed and didn't believe DS's account. Principal said things like he has worked for many years with said aid, etc... I wrote back and assured him that it was not a "perception," teacher aid actually said that and that DS was very specific about it. I invited him to ask DS if he has any doubt. I added obviously an adjustment is necessary because such comments should not be made in the first place. My son should be able to access his accommodations without being put down for needing them.
Was I wrong to say anything? I am really getting the impression that people - teachers and paras, etc. REALLY DO NOT LIKE that DS gets a scribe! I am also getting the impression that really do not like me.
The other critisms, I think Polarbear may be able to help with perhaps. The aid, and I have noticed first-hand myself that the administrators like the people in charge of the car-line ect., are constantly yelling at DS for not "moving fast enough." His pace is rather slow and, to him, he is moving quickly and does not realize how slowly he walks up steps or even in general especially if he has to carry something or has his backpack on. Once in the car pick-up line he was walking to our car from the school and the administrator yelled at him with her stupid bull-horn in front of all of his friends, other grades and students and all of our neighbors and parents (in the car-line), "DS! MOVE YOUR LEGS!!!" According to her, he wasn't moving fast enough. I literally cringed (it really was embarassing) and my DS's face turned bright red and immediately clouded over. Quite honestly, there was absolutely no need for that at all. None. Polarbear and others, my DS is similar to a dyspraxic in those ways (he may even have dysparaxia or developemental coordination disorder) - the poor writing and fine motor, but also the slow gross motor, the clumsiness (he is always dropping things), uncoordination, etc. Do people YELL at your kids all of the time for it? To be clear, he is simply slow ... putting his tray up ay lunch, walking, espcially up stairs, etc. if it's becasue he is not doing what he is suppose to be doing that is one thing (like instead of walking he stopped to chat with a friend or look at leaf or something)... but like the car-line incident where he was indeed walking toward me when called, right for me, his pace is just slow (especially since his back-pack was heavy for him).
Anyway, seems like the honeymoon with the school is over. The crux of the matter is - people really do not like that DS gets a scribe... seems like one way or another they want to take that accommodation away - whether it is constantly trying to sneak the scribe accommodation out of the IEP or not folllowing the IEP in the classroom (and then using that as proof DS doesn't need the accommodation) or making DS feel so badly when he access the accommodation that he will do so less and less. So sad.
