Well, the idea behind many of the supports in an IEP is that those things will be "transitioned" to something less intensive over time-- so that may well be where some of this mindset comes from. The goal is to transition an IEP into a 504 plan by late high school if the student's plans include college.
The way to counter that, though, is to crisply point out that the particular support/accommodation is for a condition/aspect of the disability which is permanent, and without natural mitigating measures appropriate to your child's age, and that you (and your specialist physicians) will let them know when/if anything about that CHANGES. Even so, there are elements of a plan that morph as a child ages into greater ability to manage that disability for him/herself.
Until then... er... yeah.
I find it helpful to wolfishly reply "I don't know what you mean. I was not aware that I was obliged to be obsequious in order for my child to have full access to the same degree as his unaffected peers." That puts it properly ON THEM-- they are expecting you to BEG for what your child is entitled to by law. How ugly and repulsive is THAT? ICKY.
