I just suffered through our first IEP meeting for my soon to be 3-year old. The Special Ed director has only seen me twice before (regarding DS4.5) and we exchanged couple emails back in the fall and she pretty much has me figured out (and I have to say quite well! lol). As soon as we all set down, she told the rest of the team that they can keep it short and skip the boring stuff because "mom" probably already knows what she wants anyways
... and she also mentioned to the others (who were the same evaluators that did his initial special ed evaluation) that a lot of what they saw and thought was related to his high functioning autism was probably case of stubbornness and strong-will because he seems to take after his mom! I walked out of there getting about 80% of what I wanted (I basically asked for LESS than what they wanted to offer) and the remaining 20% is stuff I backed down on and let them win some. I think have a good ongoing relationship at this point.
Unfortunately, we don't see eye to eye when it comes to allergies and the school not following through. When I mentioned my concerns regarding next year (DS4.5 should be off to Kindergarten in the fall), she said something along the lines of "oh, don't worry! We have so many kids with allergies, we have it under control. We even have allergen sniffing dogs!" ... hmm, so where was this dog and things under control when on Valentine's day my severely egg-allergic kid came home with candy bars that contain eggs in his backpack? Or who had things under control when the class had a substitute who said "one or two wouldn't hurt you" when my son wanted some of the forbidden crackers some of the other kids had (he's aside from the egg also gluten-free / casein free / soy free and the crackers had it all) ... oh, or when I informed the teacher about his new allergy to cold when he breaks out in hives really badly and I let her know we need to make sure he's safe from being exposed to cold, freezing temperatures, etc. ... and he came home all excited because he played with ICE in their sensory table? (hello giant hives onset for days!) ... and that's the kid that has FEWER issues! I don't even want to think about what will come when the younger one actually goes to full time grade school! At this point his fine motor skills are seriously lacking and I doubt he'll be able to catch up well enough to blend in with the other kids. I am pretty sure he'll need some kind of accommodation for writing and possibly other activities. But at this point, I just keep thinking "happy thoughts" ... unschooling / homeschooling the next few years and figuring things out later.
Oh, I also got an IEP progress report couple days ago. There's all kinds of progress noted on there in terms of DS's speech but ZERO notes on his other issues that he's been receiving OT consult for. All I ever hear is "oh, he's doing great!" ... doesn't give us much room for improvement since we don't know what to work on.
huh ... just thought of another "pearl" from last week's IEP ... when I asked if I could be there with DS for the speech therapy he'll be coming to school for because otherwise he will not cooperate at all and will be miserable the whole session ... the special ed director said "oh, don't worry. We are used to kid's crying!" ... say WHAT? And you want me to trust you with my child??? I know she didn't mean it the way it sounded ... but I also know what she meant and I do NOT like it. So, we shall see how far we get with the therapy before we may reach out for outside therapy rather than just going through school.
