both my boys have been extremely self directed from early on. To the point of being stuck in occupational and developmental therapy. DS4 is starting to get better at letting me and others lead a little but that's been only a very recent development. DS2.8 only follows one or two directions and they both involve food / drink. Other than that, he's his own boss. While it may look like I'm spoiling my kids at times, especially the younger one, what I'm really doing is consciously letting them show me the way. I would LOVE to teach them things, show the little one how to do something or use something ... but he only gets mad, throws a tantrum or throws the object on the floor. He is still fairly non-verbal (but can talk some when he chooses to!) but will let you know what it is he wants to do and that he's very unhappy if you give him assistance. If he plays a game on Leappad and you try to help him, he'll rather start all over again than finish with your help. He'll not know how to do something, I want to show him, he refuses but then comes back the same day or next day and is doing it all by himself! I actually believe THIS is the way to go (at least for kids like him) ... I love how he's able to figure things out on his own! That's some serious brain exercise! I am also expecting getting himself into a lot of trouble at school for doing things not the usual way ... but I honestly don't care! I want the boys to be able to show what's in them and not just learn to be followers.
So, I would just let your little one choose the way she wants to learn.
