There's probably an important lesson here: when someone is justifiably angry at you, a good way to soothe the situation is to see the big picture, acknowledge that the other person is right, and not argue about minutiae.
Yes. And it's important to recognize that people who make social skills mistakes have to be able to apologize effectively, because they are called on to do it so much more often than other people. It is not a just world in that regard.
So yes, teach DS to recognize when someone is angry at him, and teach him "soothing skills" as well as the skills to recognize when arguing back is more like shooting himself in the foot than like genuine debate...
DeeDee
ETA: the bigger picture (advocate or apologize)-- I would say both. It is vitally important that school people who deal with DS all the time understand the mistakes that are likely to happen-- these blowups are happening again and again and take valuable staff time and aggravate your DS. Teach them again. However, I do apologize copiously for my DS's mistakes, and I require that he do so as well. It's all learning.
