Twice this year, I've had to put out fires with teachers who have misinterpreted my son's intentions, words, etc., believing he was either willfully deceptive or being disrespectful and argumentative when he was just being literal and not reading social cues correctly. Last week, he was goofing around in band and hid in a supply closet during the broadcasted school announcements to scare a friend who had done the same to him the day before. The teacher, rightfully so, reprimanded him, and my son apologized and acknowledged that it was inappropriate and that he wouldn't do it again. Had the issue ended there, I wouldn't be posting here.
Alas, after my son apologized, the teacher explained that it was dangerous for him to hide in the closet because he couldn't hear the fire alarm in the closet. My son, actually wanting to reassure her that kids would be safe, corrected her and told her that if he could hear the announcements in the closet, he could most definitely hear a fire alarm.
She, of course, was furious at what she interpreted as disrespect. My son was baffled as to why she turned angry and came up upset and wondering why she was happier being wrong.
I explained to him that when one is being reprimanded by an authority figure, it was socially unacceptable to choose to correct them at that time. He said he thought he understood, but I am sure I'm going to get called on the carpet again the next time he doesn't recognize a specific nuance of the social rules.
This wasn't so much a problem when he was younger. I think he was this cute little boy that the teachers got a kick out of when he said something precocious. On a 7th grade boy who is now as tall as them, it isn't cute or precocious - it is a challenge to their authority.
When I tried to explain to the band teacher that he is literal, she said that it wasn't helping to have me defending him instead of backing her up. I told her I did back her up but wanted her to better understand him. It was clear she didn't want to.
So, what do you do? Do you just apologize or do you push to advocate and create a bigger issue? I keep looking at this and wondering just how exhausted I'm going to be putting out fires between now and when he graduates ... sigh. Sorry - just have a bit of a bad day ...
