Hi Pemberley,
I hear how frustrated you are. You thought you had really made things better, and yet they are not entirely solved yet. ARGH.
And yet-- you have located the people of good will who want to help, and who have power to do something about it, which is step 1.
It just seems it would be so nice - better for her and easier for me - to just plug into a program designed by people who understand that 2E is not JUST LD or JUST gifted. The 2 things create a whole new situation that is not just part one and part the other. Does this make sense?
Totally makes sense. If you can find such a thing, and make it work, awesome!
Where I am, there is no such thing, so we had to build a custom deal with the public school. It cost me more gray hair than I can tell you, but it is really grooving now, when DS is in 5th grade and leaves for the next school at the end of the year. But we did it, and it is working well for him.
The new DSS, although only interim, asked to stay with the case to make sure everything is properly addressed. The new SW is going out of her way to address DD's anxiety and make me feel comfortable with the school situation. The new director of Pupil Personnel Services seems to want to make this work - she came in when it was at its worst and I think recognized just HOW badly it was handled. So yes, there is an attempt to make it work.
Which of these is the right audience for a little selection of your research on positive behavior management strategies in the classroom, along with your anecdote about your DD seeing straight through the check marks being an analogue for the color chart? The DSS?
I mean really, truly understand what DD needs.
Yet. Maybe you can get them there, maybe you have to bail. It took me a few years to educate our school, but they are fully on board and wildly supportive now.
We were also having issues with homework differentiation. Unless something is spelled out - crystal clear - they just don't get it. I mean you have a kid with so many LD issues, you are supposed to be providing a para in addition to about 10 hours a week of pull out (no para yet but supposedly coming soon), we are awaiting an assistive technology eval - and common sense doesn't tell you that she can't write down her own homework assignments? Or that you need to assure that she is clear on what you want her to do with that worksheet that has no instructions on it? Or to make sure that worksheet is appropriate for her with all the LD issues? Literally every single thing has to be explained and regulated. There is no basic understanding of her needs or of WHY what she needs is different.
Some of this is classic early-in-the-year explaining. I just finished working out why DS's homework system is not working (the stuff is in six different places, and he can't cope), and communicating with the teachers about how we need to fix the system so that it can be managed by a kid with poor executive function. Only I have the overview, so I need to fix this.
The writing down of homework-- is it in the IEP that it gets written down for her? This may need to be an amendment if it's not explicitly in there. You can set up a conversation with teacher/special ed teacher/ whoever's responsible, explain the problems, and work through them to a solution. If they "don't want to" that would be a huge red flag that would make me start looking for other schools, but if it is a problem of educating the teachers, that is pretty standard special needs parenting at the start of the year. Each one of these interesting kids is different, and teachers often don't know stuff until you tell them.
We said no, but as of yet, still no enrichment breaks. All of these things would be automatic in the 2E programs I have read about. Built in breaks, kinesthetic components to the classroom, built in enrichment, AT, etc, etc, etc.
Well, that's a serious IEP violation. As are several of the other things you mentioned, sounds like. One can approach them about all these things, whoever the point person is (DSS?), and politely assert again, along with noticing that the situation doesn't seem to be changing as fast as we hoped, and what resources can we put into place to make this a better environment?
It just gets so exhausting
Amen to that. Can you have your advocate do any or all of this shepherding and educating FOR you? Ours does a ton of it, does it more gracefully and patiently than I would, and it's worth what I pay her because I don't have to get aggravated. If Advocate knows your DD's needs well enough (should by now), this could be a good move.
Pemberley, I'm worried about how traumatized YOU are as a result of all you've been through. Still thinking that finding ways to manage that will be beneficial.
DeeDee
