MK13, you've already received great advice, and I don't have much to add - but here are a few thoughts for you:
* Re the SPED preschool - chances are there are kids in the program who are all over the ability map - I wouldn't automatically assume your ds will be the only intellectually gifted child in the program. It may sound counterintuitive, but sometimes in our school district in the very early preschool and school years gifted kids on the spectrum or with behavioral/social challenges are identified as gifted earlier than NT kids simply because they go through the SPED eligibility process which usually includes ability testing.
* As the parent of an EG kiddo who is also 2e (not ASD, other types of challenges) - when he was very little it was basically a default reaction for my dh and I to think that the areas where he wasn't exactly typically developing were due to being a high-IQ kid. There was no doubt he was really bright - when he talked. So when he didn't do other things on the same schedule as most kids do we just figured he was a quirky smart kid. Later on when he wasn't producing work at school we assumed he was bored. We thought he didn't want to write because he was a perfectionist. We knew all the long lists of traits of highly gifted kids and it was easy to find something that explained everything on them so we never thought twice about it - until he almost imploded emotionally in 2nd grade because he'd been struggling so long with his undiagnosed disability and he'd reached the point in school where he could no longer compensate for it.
* I don't know if you have one in your area, but where we live autism evals/diagnosis are most frequently done by a developmental pediatrician (here the dr is affiliated with a children's hospital).
* We've had varying success with the different therapies our kids have gone through - and for sure, if you're in a situation where an individual therapist just isn't a good fit, I'd try to change to a different therapist.
* What your children need now or will benefit from now in therapy may change over the years as they grow. My dd10 is a prime example of this.. I started to write her story out but it was going to be *way* too long! The brief version is: she went through multiple types of therapies at different times, and they all helped incrementally. In her case vision therapy made the biggest difference in her life, but the therapies she'd been through prior to that (sensory OT, listening therapy) were still things I would have taken her through again even though part of what they were trying to address was at least partly due to undiagnosed vision challenges.
* Dealing with so many therapy appointments and two children who have challenges is beyond exhausting. FWIW, for all it may be exhausting now, I suspect you'll be glad several years down the road that you actively sought out all the help while they were young - it may not be obvious now but it *will* make a huge difference in their lives, and it will make your life easier *eventually* once they are farther along in school.
* Last thought re sleeping at night - does your dr think there's any possibility that they may have chronic upset stomachs or is there possibly some kind of physical sensation that causes discomfort when they lay down (reflux etc?).
* And (I promise!) my last thought - always trust your instincts
Best wishes,
polarbear
