Well, we're home again. Sorry this is long, I don’t really have anywhere else to spill my guts…
We're not on the waiting list for a neuropsych evaluation yet... I want the results to be relevant for school since I suspect some 2e stuff, so I plan to wait till he's four or so (our next visit to the States). We tried to see a developmental pediatrician (friend of a friend of a friend) but it didn't happen. When faced with the thought of nothing at all, I did go ahead and meet with an OT. She was also the friend of a friend, so it was more of an informal time (no official eval) where I described his behavior and she gave me some strategies for dealing with it.
Here's the odd thing though... the beginning of the trip was incredibly stressful for all of us. My son had spectacular meltdowns every day for the first two weeks. He also had an allergic reaction to some of the food we were eating, so we changed our diet and put him on an allergy medicine. About halfway through the trip, it was like he made some sort of developmental leap and suddenly he was a different child, more mature. He has always been an incredible perfectionist, but now he doesn’t freak out (as much) when he fails and he’ll say things like, “When I’m three, I write my name. G is older so her mommy no have to help her write her name.” I also hear him saying things like, “Practice, practice, practice,” and “Keep trying, Mama, you can do it!” (phrases I’ve been using, what felt like unsuccessfully, for months). He’s now obsessed with counting things on his fingers and figuring out how old he’ll have to be to do everything he wants (light a match, shoot a bow and arrow).
His issues didn't go away completely, but towards the end of the trip, he frequently sat through formal dinners with my family, he rode in the car peacefully, and he didn’t seem to need as much sensory input despite the increased stress of travelling. I feel like I have a four year old now whose emotional maturity is still lagging behind (he does great playing with 5/6 year olds, but put him with another 2 year old and it’s war!) He can tell me now, “I feel mad. I going to kick R. He ruin my toys!” or “I feel sad.” He also reviews his behavior (last time I no nice to woman, today I no scream at her), and if I tell him he did a good job with X or Y, he’ll point out the one failure (I hit H on the shoulder, his sword was down. He cried weeeeeeeee.) We’ve got a ways to go, but it’s a start and I’m so proud of my little guy.
Now I’m wondering… how much of the behavior was just his frustration at his ability vs. cognitive level and perhaps his food allergies, and how much really was/is sensory stuff? Somehow I have a feeling that this won't be the last time I feel amazed and confused at the same time. Thanks for listening, I don’t know what I would do without this place.
