I really think that adults can reduce bullying through good leadership. They can't be there in every corner of the hallway, but they can set a standard and an expectation of how people should treat each other. We are lucky, they only instance of bullying my sons have experienced was at a Park-district run summer camp led primarily by college and hs students who just did not have the authority they needed for this environment. When I complained, multiple times, they said they would talk to the kids, etc., but nothing happened. I took my boys out and moved them to a YMCA camp where they had zero problems and lots of fun. Still mostly college age kids running the program but I now truly appreciate the "role model" t-shirts Y employees wear. They provided an excellent environment that encouraged the kids to treat each other with kindness.
I also think that we can empower kids to stand up for each other and not tolerate bullying behavior. I think this is what the commercial La Texican mentioned is trying to get at, but I agree that it doesn't really get the point across. The actual programs focus on the fact that lots of kids are aware of the bullying but do nothing. If we can empower THEM to speak up then we can have a real impact. KathleensMum's post on the Ultimate Brag Thread is a great example of this. The trailer for the Bully movie shows a video of a bullying incident on a bus. Numerous other kids observe it and do nothing. If we can change that response, then I think we could see some change in the behaviors.
This can also be done in the classroom through positive leadership, expecting inclusion and even pulling some kids aside and asking them to be role models and leaders in this respect. Expecting kindness, compassion and forgiveness (i.e. not shunning the perpetrators) doesn't really seem that far-fetched to me. As a society we tolerate bullying by saying it "happens all the time" and is "just part of growing up". It doesn't have to be, we have just accepted that it will be.
And third, I think we conflate two types of behaviors when we talk about bullying. One is the anti-social behavior of children who have been mistreated themselves. The other is this experimentation with social power that is also very common. I think these sets of behaviors come from different sources and should actually be treated differently if we want to effectively intervene. The anti-social bully is also a victim and needs help. The social experimentors need to be given clear boundaries. I feel like the "over" emphasis on bullying is a bit problematic in that in seems to say that kids are either victims or bullies. And that the "artsy" kids are the victims and the "sports" kids are the bullies. These stereotypes just exacerbate the problem, imo. It creates enemies that don't have to be.
There's more I'd like to write, but my little one needs my attention now!
