momto4, interestingly, in my daughter's instructional program (there are two programs in the school using the same curricula, but with different approach), there is no choosing groups. Kids have "clock partners" where there are names around the outside of a clock. The teacher then can say, "get with your 6 o'clock partner" and that defines your partner. Groups of 4 are made by saying "get with your 3, 6, and 9 o'clock partners."
I suspect this gets around that partner selection problem. That is, assuming that particular group doesn't exclude an individual.
Thanks for the ideas DeeDee, and probably warrants its own thread. We're still working on how DD feels about these diagnoses. They have not been easy pills to swallow for her.
