I am humbled by the time you all have spent in trying to help out a stranger in such a tough decision. Thank you.
FWIW, I skipped 3rd with an additional math acceleration. I asked my mom, since I had the perception that maybe they shouldn't have done it. Her response was that the only thing she wished had gone differently was that it happened in kindergarten when it was clear there was a problem.
My husband's parents turned down a request from the school to skip him over 3rd grade. In consulting with my MIL, she says that had they would have done it in kindergarten if the option had been available. She felt 3rd was too late.
*Sports: Sadly, school sports here are so competitive that kids can't make any team unless they join elite travel teams by 3rd grade or so. While we're contemplating a not-as-elite soccer team for DD next year (for 5th grade), these teams are not compatible with my family's priorities. By not red shirting my kids, they're already largely cut out of this. It really makes me sad. I'm thinking we're going to be more of a marching band family.
*Dating. So you're saying I can't ostrich this issue?
*Valedictorian. I was in the top 5% of my graduating class (elite all girl's college prep, >50% now have an MD, JD or PhD). So I'm struggling to see this as an issue. (Yes, I know I'm one anecdote.) Indeed, high GPA is as much a function of executive function as outright smarts. I'm thinking at this point that keeping him engaged in the learning process will set us ahead in this regard. Another thing for me to think through is that he will also be having college credits by 8-10th grade if he maintains on his math trajectory based on how how we plan it out. (There's a route to calculus by 9th grade with the skip --8th without-- in the district if we so choose to pursue it, plus the principal has already said that he anticipates having to do additional accelerations on top of the district's 3 compacting options.) Tea leaves anyone?
*Competitions. Interesting. I hadn't contemplated that one. We might have to ponder how important we see that. For the 6 year old I've got right now, he's more a Deep Springs College kid than a Harvard kid. That being said, I am in my current career in part because I won a math contest at Expanding Your Horizons (after attending one of the geekiest colleges on the planet). (Sidebar, anyone with a middle school daughter should seek EYH out.)
Grinity, yeah, cluster grouping seems like a no brainer for this school. Each class in this rich neighborhood has 120 kids! There's plenty for a high performing/gifted cluster class. That seems to be actively discouraged from the school board on down.
I think our primary, driving factor will be to keep him engaged enough in the learning process to maintain a healthy self-concept and healthy approach to school. We see him slowly extinguishing now in the second half of his kindergarten year.
