Dottie,

Well, actually my kids like going to the dentist (they�ve never had any cavities). But perhaps it would get dull doing it 180 days a year.

You wrote:
>Case in point....my bright middle school child is in excellent company, boys and girls alike!

I always had friends in school, too, usually bright kids (although early in grade schools, my best friends were a mid-level student and a nice guy who happened to have some problems academically). And, we did not even have the jock-nerd conflict in our high school. As the undisputed top nerd, I myself was actually friendly with the three co-captains of the football team (as I said above, they did not invite me to their parties, but then I would have declined an invitation anyway).

Of course, perhaps I was less socially accepted than I recall, and I was just too clueless to realize it. Near the end of my senior year, the girl I�d been sitting next to all year in lit class, and of course having casual conversations with through the year (she was an average student), one day turned to me and said, �You know, Dave, you�re actually okay.� This would seem to imply that she had spent much of the year trying to decide whether or not I was �actually okay.� (I thanked her for her endorsement.)

Anyway, thinking back to high school, the bright girls did seem to be somewhat socially isolated. As I recall, the only guys, even among the good students, who hung out with the bright girls were me and my best friend. This was fine with me, of course: as a guy, I found it rather convenient that most guys seemed uninterested in the bright girls, since I myself was only interested in the bright girls.

Talking to bright adult female friends now (including my wife), most of them do seem to have rather negative memories of the social situation in junior high and high school. I hear that from very few guys � I think there is a real gender difference here (and I�ve read some sociology that seems to back this up). I get a very strong impression from a lot of people, not just kids but also parents, that a �geeky� boy is kind of weird but that a �geeky� girl is just beyond the pale, especially in the high-school years � an attitude that I find unacceptable.

I don�t know if your child is male or female � that could make a real difference. And it will be interesting to see how it works out in high school.

I certainly agree with you that it can be different in different schools � as I said, our school lacked the supposedly universal nerd-jock conflict. But the anti-geeky-girl meme does seem to be awfully widespread.

You also wrote:
>But our schools are nothing like you describe, even with the "easy" work factored in!

Could you elaborate? My remarks on being bored to death were mainly about grade school, which I think is Jamie�s current issue. Were your kids in a situation in which most of their work in grade school was up to their level of ability?

We were tracked in junior high, and, in high school, I was mature enough to seek out teachers with whom I could develop independent study plans (we had a �progressive� principal who was flexible and supportive of such plans). So, junior high and high school were not that bad academically. But grade school was largely a waste of six years.

Was your kid�s experience in grade school different from mine?

It�s true that a lot of us who are homeschooling are a bit evangelical on the subject, but I do realize that homeschooling is not the right solution for everyone. If the parent or child can�t or doesn�t want to homeschool, or if the local school offers an arrangement that gives a good fit to the kid�s academic abilities, of course homeschooling may not be the right solution. On the other hand, a lot of people who are considering homeschooling like the idea but are scared of �taking the leap,� so I think we homeschoolers do have an obligation to explain to them that homeschooling is not as scary as it seems and can actually be fun. And, the tone of Jamie�s post sounded to me as if her �gut feelings� are making homeschooling sound appealing to her and she was looking for feedback as to whether her gut feelings are leading her astray.

I do think everyone should seriously consider homeschooling as one of several options, just as everyone should consider traditional public schools, private schools, alternative charter schools, etc. You are not likely to make an optimal decision if you do not consider all the options.

I actually think the ideal situation would transcend the homeschool/classroom-school distinction with schools being basically �education malls� where you could pick and choose what you wanted and combine that with homeschooling, with outside-of home-and-school activities, etc. But I do not know of any school that yet functions that way.

All the best,

Dave